...And SCENE!

Here is something that happened to me.

Roughly translated into screenplay format.

Enjoy.

EXT. RALPH'S ON WILSHIRE-EVENING
A young man walks out of a Ralph's supermarket carrying a Marie Callender's Frozen Sweet and Sour Chicken and a plastic bottled Dr. Pepper. He turns the corner and heads to the Rite-Aid parking lot across the street where he is currently illegally parked.

He wears a collared shirt and corduroy pants.

It is relatively late for dinner, he is tired, hungry, and eager to get home.

As he rounds the corner, AN OLDER MAN approaches him. He is well dressed, carrying a BEBE shopping bag. He is laughing at the YOUNG MAN, he begins rubbing his chin.

OLDER MAN: Hey, you got the look man.

The Young Man walks by hoping this is the last of their conversation.

OLDER MAN (cont'd): Look at you. You slick.

YOUNG MAN: Thanks.

OLDER MAN: Hey, you got the look, all you need is a suit. You small time though now right? Small time.

The YOUNG MAN doesn't really understand what the guy is saying so he keeps walking in the hope that he will eventually lose interest and walk the other way.

OLDER MAN (cont'd): Yo, you small time but check this out.

He indicates to the BEBE bag.

OLDER MAN (cont'd): You see this bag, this is a 3,000 dollar Burberry Handbag. Do you understand how much this is worth? How much you can make? Yo, if you want to come with me, we could do this.

The young man begins to catch on, very slowly.

YOUNG MAN: No, that's okay, I'm not interested.

OLDER MAN: Nah, man you don't understand. They got these clubs in Beverly Hills, underground clubs, beneath the ground clubs. Nobody knows about them, I can get you in, just come with me.

YOUNG MAN: No really, that's okay I need to get...

They stop at the Young Man's car.

OLDER MAN: Look, you got the look and you small time now. But all we have to do is get you a suit, you could be making 5,000 dollars a day. How much you make now? I bet it ain't that.

YOUNG MAN: I'm sorry, but really I just want to...

OLDER MAN: All we gotta do is, I get you a suit. We go in together, I take the salesperson, I distract them. You head to the back, you can grab at least 3 or 4 handbags at a time. You slip out, there you go, there's the money right there.

Bam.

YOUNG MAN: I'm really not interested in that.

OLDER MAN: I see, I see, you still small time. You into the low risk thing, that's cool.

The YOUNG MAN notices the OLDER MAN pointing at his frozen dinner and soda. Then it hits him.

YOUNG MAN: Oh no, I didn't steal this. I paid for this.

OLDER MAN: You mean you didn't...

YOUNG MAN: No, I just paid for this like a minute ago. I had the receipt but I threw it out.

Silence.

YOUNG MAN: I just...I don't like plastic bags.

Silence.

YOUNG MAN: They're bad for the environment.

OLDER MAN: Oh.

YOUNG MAN: Sorry.

OLDER MAN: Okay well. Alright.

YOUNG MAN: Sorry about that.

The Older Man slinks away into the shadows. The Young Man gets into his car and drives out of the Rite-Aid parking lot, back to his apartment.

THE END