You ain't even in my top ten again!

Hey there, the moment you have all been waiting for, like the salivating dogs that you are...

TOP TEN FILMS OF 2006.

I'm sure you are all stunned, taking a few steps back away from your keyboards as you read this.
How can you have a top ten list for the year in film 2006 in the middle of February of the following year.
Well the short answer to that is it took me a while to see Letters From Iwo Jima, and I had to do this right.

Otherwise what are we fighting for.

So, without further apu, I give you...

1. Pan's Labyrinth
I guess it gave it all away right there, but I hope you read on even though it's all downhill from here I guess. While not the most original choice for best film of the year (thank you very much TGWSY). It is still an absolutely worthy choice, Guillermo Del Toro is one of the greatest living directors for his precise lack of pretension and child like wonderment at the world. With this film he has crafted the best kind of fairy tale, frightening yet some how comforting at the same time. He refuses to coddle us to sleep and the result is a film that grows with every waking thought I have of it. And I have only seen it once, it's mind blowing.

2. Children of Men
Another one from the three best directors of 2006 (more on that later). Alfonso Cuaron's Children of Men is a great film because it functions perfectly on the level of three different kinds of films. One, it's a breathless action film with some of the most original and inventive battle scenes in recent memory. Two, it's a pitch perfect political commentary with some of the most frightening imagery to tackle Iraq, Abu Ghraib, and the domestic war on terror since mainstream journalism gave up on it so long ago. And three it's a moving personal redemption story about a man who realizes that it's about time he gave a damn again. We should take notice and act accordingly.

3. Babel
Alejandro Gonzalez Iñárritu, Guillermo Del Toro, and Alfonso Cuaron made the three best films of 2006 and they have one thing in common. The Mexican thing, I guess, but also their films share a big universal theme, the effect children have on the world. Babel is a devastating account of what happens when our universal differences reveal universal truths about the world we all share. Some accused it of being unrelenting, yet I found it oddly hopeful. Some accused of it being an excercise in pretentious melodrama, I thought it's ultimate theme was so subtle it only reveals itself if you connect the emotional dots rather than the narrative ones. In other words, Iñárritu is a unique talent, and this is his best film.

4. United 93
The film no one wanted turned out to be one of the most essential films of the year. Not simply because of its subject matter (by the way there have been a lot of movies made about 9/11 since 9/11) but the way it handled a worldwide tragedy not with kid gloves, nor with some kind of bullshit grandoise message about the meaning of it all. Paul Greengrass is nothing if not a humane filmmaker and his clear eyed perception of the events of that day are shattering. United 93 is not a story of heroes but about ordinary people who acted heroically and ultimately suffered a tragedy not a sacrifice. Expertly crafted and performed, Greengrass' reminds us how hard we were hit that day not how hard we hit back.

5. Letters From iwo Jima
Yes, this film is that good. Usually Eastwood's laissez-faire direction fails to live up to the hype but this time he has found a new friend in melancholy and the result is an emotional involvement not usually found in his films (I blame that as of recent on Mr. Haggis). A deep sadness hovers over this film matching that of the ultimate futility of the Japanese stand on Iwo Jima. A sadness that can only come from being ordered die and not knowing what for. A personal and tragic take on war that is all the more satisfying for its honest understanding of the so called "enemy." Succesfully blending the elusive combination of war and anti-war, Eastwood has made a film about violence, allegiance, and ultimately death that is his best work to date.

6. The Queen
Sometimes a movie doesn't have to do much more than be perfectly cast, meticulously scripted and directed without a wrong note or beat. That may sound like a lot but The Queen pulls it off so deftly, without drawing too much attention to itself that it surprises you in the best possible way. In capturing the royal family in the days after Diana's death, Stephen Frears and company have made an invigorating document examining what role the monarchy still plays in modern British society. Mirren's Queen is utterly fascinating in how cold and stubbon she appears, yet how absolutely right she is in her convictions. As exciting as a behind the scenes documentary, as heartbreaking as a personal memoir, in other words: perfect.

7. Half Nelson
I had some kind of ridiculous fever dream that after Ryan Fleck's powerful and searing Half Nelson, all those piss poor teacher in a bad neighborhood movies would cease to be made. Then Freedom Writers came out and that dream died. Nevertheless, Half Nelson damn near obliterates the entire genre with its refusal to settle for any easy answers, and its unblinking eye for character details. Gosling really has to be seen, his performance does things in one scene that some actors can't do in an entire film. Shareeka Epps is right there with him, devastating in her refusal to stoop to cute kid histronics, she and Gosling make the film soar. Half Nelson is a good reasoon why independent film will always be relevant.

8. Marie Antoinette
One of the most unfairly dumped upon movies of the year (except for the most unfairly dumped upon, to be documented later). Sofia Coppola's melancholy, colorful, and (god forbid) fun take on the Marie Antoinette story is one of the definitive "girl" stories of the last ten years. It sucks you in with its candy color palette the way Marie herself was seduced by it, then as the years wear on the moments of sadness begin to creep in, and we understand this is not just a story about a girl who wanted to party all day and sleep all day. It's about a girl who lost something and took a country with her to find it, kind of a perfect companion piece to the Queen and I just made that up.

9. A Scanner Darkly/Fast Food Nation
Okay this is a bit of a cheat, I guess this is my top eleven, but whatever, I do shit like this all the time. The reason Scanner and Fast Food are tied for 9 is not because they are made by the same filmmaker (Richard Linklater) but because they represent two of the most satisfying political films of the year. In a way they are kind of a one two punch for Linklater, Scanner being the paranoid nightmare of a country ruled by fear, and Fast Food Nation looking past the paranoia to how suffocatingly toxic parts of this culture have become and how difficult it is to go about fixing them. These two films are not preaching to the choir they are inspiring to the masses.

10. Shortbus
Perhaps the most flawed film on the list. Sure the acting is amateurish and the story basically non existant, but this was hands down one of the most enjoyable films of the year. You know how some movies just get a feeling right and the damn thing has you singing. Shortbus accomplished that in spades, it's joy and optimism are infectious and its daring exploration into the mental and physical effects of sex is achingly beautiful while never once descending into simple minded gloom. It's also a big fuck you to the prudish, misogynistic, and homophobic rhetoric of our Bush administration culture and a great movie about living in New York. A lot was made of the sex in this movie but what will suprise you most isn't the size of its package, but the size of its heart.

Some other movies I really liked this year (tied for 11th place basically...)
The Science of Sleep, The Fountain, Inside Man, Deliver Us From Evil, Blood Diamond, Monster House, Cars, Volver, World Trade Center, Little Children, Bubble, Sweet Land, Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story, The Prestige, Neil Young: Heart of Gold, The Lake House

Worst Movie of 2006.
Snakes on a Plane
I know this is an easy target, but this movie really pissed me off and I'm glad it died a quick death. It took everything that is fun, spontaneous and absurdly hilarious about watching a bad movie (the MST3K phenomenon) and turned it into a buzz filled internet marketing phenomenon. Watch as hilarity ensues when bad filmmakers intentionally make a bad film all the while assuring us that they are actually talented and are just slumming for our benefit, fuck this movie.

Most Underrated Movie of 2006
The Fountain
The Fountain was unfortunately written off as pretentious sci fi babble, and not to get all Travers on you here, but god forbid a movie uses the visual medium to express ideas rather than explain everything through the character's flapping mouths. The Fountain blows out the conventions of science fiction, romance, and visual effects into a film that can best be described as an experience. One wrapped in the mysteries of life, death and love that somehow communicates all of those things without any kind of compromise or cyniscm. Maybe that's a pretentious explanation but isn't that what we're supposed to feel when watching movies?

Most Overrated Movie of 2006
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
It still baffles me as to how many critics lovingly heaped praise on this movie and adorned many of their own top ten lists with its annoyingly long title. I admit, Sacha Baron Cohen has talent and his ability to improvise is impressive but its a shtick and it gets old real quick. Okay I get it, American are thoughtless, racist, sexist, homophobic etc I don't think Cohen simply exposing that is anything the least bit revolutionary or even new. It also allows him to hide behind his character and not really comment on it or get involved in it. The film too often stoops to some Jackass type stunts that prove two things to me. One being that Cohen didn't have enough ideas to sustain a movie as short as Borat is anyway. And two, that maybe all he wanted to do was gross us out, mission accomplished but that doesn't make him a genius.

There you have it, the Mexicans came and kicked all our asses, except for a few that is. And we wrap us this year (a bit late) with the comforting knowledge that there will always be more than enough movies to stock a top ten list. Hopefully they stick around and it's not a matter of finding them.

"I put my feet up on the coffee table
I stay up late watching cable
I like old movies with Clarke Gable
Just like my dad does

Just like my dad did when he was home
Staying up late, staying up alone
Just like my dad did when he was thinking
Oh, how fast the years fly"